#screenwriting

A screenwriter’s tip for survival: Keep the intimate details of your work to yourself…

Leave a comment

Superb advice from Scriptcat, as usual…

Scriptcat's avatarMY BLANK PAGE

As you’re navigating the trenches on your screenwriting journey, do your best to keep the intimate details of your work to yourself. Do not continually talk about the status of your projects, your “writing process,” or how each project is moving forward or not. I know it’s tempting to share the intimate details with friends and family or even strangers, but keep your business to yourself. Your stock reply should be, “I’m busy working on a handful of interesting projects.”  Hemingway said it best, “I still believe, though, that it is very bad for a writer to talk about how he writes. He writes to be read by the eye and no explanations or dissertations should be necessary. You can be sure that there is much more there than will be read at any first reading and having made this it is not the writer’s province to explain it or…

View original post 1,241 more words

#screenwriting, Dexter, Dialogue, Structure

DEXTER part 10: The Climax

Video Leave a comment

The episode we’re studying is Season 7 Episode 7 – CHEMISTRY  – (by Manny Coto & Karen Campbell).

Read the scene here.

This is the longest scene of the episode (approx. 3 mins) and is the ‘climax’.

First, we see that it breaks into 5 major beats.

We also see a clear ‘to and fro’ of power.

Here’s a summary:

Beat 1.

Dexter enters annoyed at the fact that Hannah’s latest victim died in his apartment. He’s angry with her and asks her how she killed him. Hannah disarms Dexter by answering his question.

We could say the power holder at the start of the beat is Dexter, but at the end of the beat, Hannah.

Beat 2.

Dexter confesses he got rid of some evidence which would have incriminated Hannah. Hannah thanks him.

Power holder:

start of beat – Hannah.

end of beat – Shared.

Beat 3.

Hannah says she could ‘feel’ Dexter watching her when she was being interviewed by the police. She tries to draw him into an awareness of a spiritual, supernatural bond. Dexter refuses to go there.

Power holder:

start of beat – Shared.

end of beat – Dexter.

Beat 4.

Dexter needs to know if the story he heard about Hannah is true. Did she kill her husband because he wanted a family? Hannah again disarms him.

Power holder:

start of beat – Dexter.

end of beat – Hannah.

Beat 5.

Hannah tries again to draw Dexter in to an awareness of their deep, spiritual connection.  This time she succeeds. Dexter is overwhelmed by her intoxicating power and the sexual ‘chemistry’ between them reaches its inevitable climax.

Power holder:

start of beat – Hannah

end of beat – Shared.

The shared power at the climax of this scene is echoed in Hannah’s line: ‘We were looking out for each other.’

So, the to and fro of power goes like this:

Dexter – Hannah – Shared / Dexter – Hannah – Shared

Two equal halves of the same sequence.

Interesting.

Do you agree? What else do you notice about this scene?

For a scene-by-scene breakdown of the entire, episode click here.

#screenwriting

Perfect Writing

Leave a comment

When I watched The Graduate on stage in London’s West End I saw what was, for me, the perfect ending.

Why was it perfect?

Somehow the writer had managed to bring me to a point where tears were rolling down my cheeks. Tears of empathy, of pity, of pain.

But then, as the tears flowed, and I thought my heart was going to break, came a terrific one-liner, which made me burst out in ferocious laughter, making the tears flow even harder.

Was I laughing or crying? I didn’t know! Both! At the same time!

Perfect writing!

#screenwriting

Need & Revelations

Leave a comment

Screenwriting teacher Chris Soth, in his Million Dollar Screenwriting podcasts, discusses how the hero, as a direct result of understanding his inner need is able to either-

a) achieve his outward goal

or

b) discern that his original goal isn’t important after all.

Either way the character arc is complete.

John Truby splits ‘need’ into 2 categories: ‘psychological’ and ‘moral’.

Let’s break this down:

A psychological need is something the hero must achieve in order to stop causing harm to himself.

A moral need is something he must achieve in order to stop causing harm to others.

Truby says the best stories have both.

In order to realize these needs, for the subconscious to become conscious, the hero must have a revelation, either psychological, moral, or both.

However, it’s not always as simple as that.

In some stories the hero may be incapable of a revelation. For example, in The Godfather, Truby explains, the writers give the revelation to Kay, Michael Corleone’s wife (read Anatomy of Story for the full analysis.)

Truby explains how a hero should take new moral action to prove the change has taken place.

What about your hero? What is his psychological and moral need? Is he capable of having a revelation? Is he capable of change?

If so, what action does he take to prove it?

#screenwriting

2 effective ways to step-outline.

Leave a comment

When step-outlining, we can use 2 techniques:

1. Put the do-er of the action first.

Skyler threatens to leave Walt.

Subject: Skyler.

Verb: Threaten

Object: Walt

By using this method you can see:

1. Who is driving the scene.

2. Who is driving the main plot.

3. Who is attacking your hero .

If your hero is often the object, coming under attack a lot, this is good! Heroes should be attacked !

2. Put your hero first.

Walt is threatened by Skyler.

Subject: Walt

Verb: Threaten

Object: Skyler

Here the subject and object have switched. Walt is the hero so he always stays the subject – that is – first in the sentence, followed by the verb.

The verb ‘is threatened’ here is passive  which tells us that Walt is passive in this scene, too. He is under attack. Of course, he doesn’t remain passive. He fights back. That’s what heroes do.

This method means we always:

1. See the story from the hero’s viewpoint.

2. See if our hero is active or passive.

3. See who is attacking our hero or who he is attacking.

It’s good to step outline both ways, to get a really clear picture of the to-and-fro of attack, defend, attack, defend, as your hero advances towards his goal.

#screenwriting, Dialogue, Dialogue

DEXTER part 8a: Dialogue – Angel Batista

Leave a comment

Image

Angel Batista is dreaming of retiring and opening a restaurant on the beach. Joey is feeling guilty about the dirty money he took from the Koshka Brotherhood.

NB it’s not pure altruism from Joey; earlier in the episode Batista ‘suggested’ he may be the one who stole the evidence against the Koshkas, which of course he was.

INT. MIAMI METRO POLICE – NIGHT

All is quiet in the office. Joey writes a check for $10,000 and hands it to Batista.

BATISTA

What’s this?

JOEY

It’s for your restaurant.

BATISTA

It’s ten grand.

JOEY

You know I got that inheritance a while back. I’ve been looking for the right place to invest.

BATISTA

I can’t take this. What are you crazy?

JOEY

Come on, are you too good for my fucking money?

BATISTA

No. This is way too generous.

JOEY

Bullshit. It’s family money. You’re family to me.

BATISTA

Quinn…

JOEY

Look, you’re stuck with it. I’m not taking it back. I do expect a few free meals, though.

BATISTA

This is a loan you asshole. I’m gonna pay you back.

So, let’s take the last line of Batista and see what we can glean. What does it tell us about Batista’s character?

First of all, considering the context, that earlier in the scene Batista put his professional relationship before his ‘friendship’ with Joey, Batista falls easily for Joey’s snake-like charm.

For $10,000, Batista is ready to accept Joey as ‘family’ – a man, who, a few scenes ago he was ready to lock away and ruin forever.

With Batista, money talks.

But is he greedy? Or simply so desperate for his restaurant, to retire from the stress of police life, that he is willing to ignore the evidence staring him in the face – that this money is dirty.

Does Batista really believe this 10 grand is from Joey’s inheritance? If he does, does it make him naive, or gullible? Or is he just blind to the truth, unable to see what is in front of him?

John Lennon said, “Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.”

I would say here Batista is living with his eyes closed. Where he showed discernment earlier when he confronted Joey over the missing evidence, here he is either lacking discernment or willing to turn a blind eye. If he is lacking discernment that makes him kind of wavering, easily tricked. Is Batista, this hard-nosed, authoritarian, super-ambitious cop so easily susceptible to Joey’s charm? Is he really that gullible? On a positive note, his refusal to take the money as a gift shows Batista is fiercely proud and independent.

So, for me this dialogue suggests Angel Batista is:

Gullible, independent, and proud.

Would you agree?

#screenwriting, Dialogue, Dialogue

DEXTER part 8b: Dialogue – Joey Quinn

Leave a comment

Image

In JOEY QUINN the writers of Dexter have created a fascinating, multi-layered and deeply flawed character.

Remember, we’re analyzing Season 7 Episode 7.

Let’s take a look at Joey’s storyline.

Joey has fallen in love with Nadia, a sex-trafficked strip joint dancer under the power of Ukrainian mob the Koshka Brotherhood.

In order to earn Nadia’s freedom, Joey has put his career on the line, by doing a deal.

INT. GEORGE’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Joey enters.

JOEY

I did what you wanted. The evidence is gone. I want Nadia’s passport. She’s done with you and your whole fucking shitty organization… and so am I.

GEORGE

We’ve been working so well together. Why kill a good thing?

JOEY

Who do you think you’re fucking with? You think I’m some fucking asshole? One of your little fucking bad men? You know how badly I could fuck you up?

Calling the Koshka Brotherhood a ‘shitty organization’ isn’t very eloquent or smart. I get the feeling Joey doesn’t think  about what he’s going to say before he says it.  He’s not the type to go through his confrontations in front of the mirror beforehand. He’s rash, impulsive, all-guns-blazing. I would say his words here reveal him to be reckless.

‘You know how badly I could fuck you up?’ comes across as false bravado; he has no power to ‘fuck them up’ – if he did he wouldn’t have stolen evidence for them, risking his career and imprisonment. Therefore I would say that his macho talk here is masking a deep insecurity.

Yet, the fact he is prepared to put his neck on the line to save Nadia from her traffickers endears us to him. It’s a sign of his compassion.

To sum up then, I would say Joey’s dialogue reveals him to be reckless, insecure yet compassionate.

What do you think?

#screenwriting

10 tips to help write a prize-winning short story.

6 Comments

10 tips which helped me win  the Writers’ Forum Short Fiction Prize with my short story Man or Mouse.

These are not my own ‘rules’ but snippets of advice I’d gleaned from various books and podcasts on writing.

1. Cut the first page. It’s set-up. (Chekhov advises to cut the first three pages!) Cut to the chase. Get straight to the story.

2. Be strict with POV (point of view).

3. Start your story immediately after a dramatic event.

4. Like Ouroboros your story should also have its tail in its mouth – connect the ending to the beginning.

5. Know your ending.

6. Set up ‘plot points’ – clues in the text that point to the reveal – so when you smack the reader in the face with your twist all of your foreshadowing clues will burst into light.

7. Cut ALL adjectives and adverbs until your story is ‘bare bones’. Re-add sparsely and with great care.

8. Rewrite 6 times: for light, sound, touch, taste, smell and sight.

9. Be spare with metaphor.

10. Avoid cliches. Be original. Hold every word up to the light.

Sue Moorcroft, head judge of Writers’ Forum, gives her own advice here.

#screenwriting, Dialogue, Dialogue

DEXTER part 8c: Dialogue – Debra Morgan

Leave a comment

I’m going to choose one line of dialogue from each character which, for me, defines the person.

Debra first.

For me, a character-defining line of dialogue comes when she’s meeting Sal Price, the True Crime writer investigating Hannah McKay, at a restaurant. Although their relationship is professional, and they’re working  a case, this is a date, so Sal throws a perfectly normal ‘date’ question at Deb, who responds with a perfectly abnormal answer.

SAL
What kind of music do you like?

DEB
A jail house door slamming shut, that’s my idea of music.

Brilliant!

What does this tell us about Deb?

That she’s obsessed with her work – she is ALWAYS thinking about catching bad guys and locking them up! And because she’s obsessed with her job we might also say that she’s fiercely ambitious. What else does this line of dialogue say about her? It’s a cool answer, right? It’s a unique, acerbic sense of humor, but still funny.

So, we could say this line of dialogue defines three of Deb’s character traits: she’s work-obsessed, ambitious, and funny.

Do you agree ?

What about your characters? What one-liners define their personality?

Can you think of any more character-defining dialogue from other movie /TV  characters?

#screenwriting, Dialogue, Menu A

127 Hours: what are your characters saying ?

Leave a comment

SPOILER ALERT – watch the movie before reading this post.

What most impresses me about 127 Hours is, although it’s an intensely visual film, the dialogue is deep with subtext. Take the Friday 13th joke in the opening sequence. Aron is out exploring on the Grand Canyon, and sees two girls, obviously lost. He bounds down the canyon and offers his assistance. We know he’s charming and likeable, but his face is covered by a dust mask, and he’s wearing a cap and shades. He looks scary – like Jason.

“Sorry about the Friday 13th thing,” he wisecracks.

Joke, right? Throw-away line, simple. Actually it’s very cleverly foreshadowing the fact that this family wilderness drama is going to suddenly twist genre in the final act to a gruesome slasher movie as Aron slashes off his own arm to free himself from the rock. It’s horrific to watch, terrifying and extremely bloody. The pain is excruciating. In this throw-away ‘joke’ the film makers are actually apologizing to us, the viewer, for the excruciating horror they’re about to endure.

Genius!

Also, look at the line when Aron makes a joke about the insects crawling beneath him waiting for him to defecate. Although a simple joke, coupled together with the bird circling above, which feeds on insects, this seemingly irrelevant line is pointing to the film’s theme – that all living creatures are interdependent, that our world is interdependent, that no man is an island – that we, as people, as human beings, depend on each other.

This is the lesson Aron must learn, in Truby terms the ‘moral and psychological revelation’ he must have in order to change and become a better human being. This is his character arc: if Aron hadn’t been so selfish, if he’d have answered his mom’s calls, and told her where he was going, he wouldn’t be in this nightmare. He wouldn’t be suffering alone between a rock and a hard place.

Aron goes through an intense furnace of change – a terrifying, horrific experience.

It’s his –  and therefore our – Friday the 13th.

How about your script? Have you foreshadowed the climax with a seemingly throw-away line?

What are your characters saying?

I’ve written a more extensive post here. Also, check out the article on symbolism & motifs.